Hi babes! Real life bride to be @brittbledsoe here. Today, I wanted to talk about the topic of pre-martial counselling. My fiancé and I finished up our pre-martial counselling a few weeks ago, and I wanted to share our experience!
Pre-martial counselling is a time for you as a couple to work out any kinks in the relationship before saying “I do.” With me saying that, pre-martial counselling should not be a method of “testing” or “making or breaking” your relationship. Pre-martial counselling’s purpose is to build a strong foundation of understanding, love and expectations for your marriage. It helps strengthen your relationship!
As exciting as marriage is, it can be a huge transition for most people, which can lead to troubles with adjustment, communication, and ultimately your relationships. Pre-martial counselling is suggested to begin addressing any current or potential future issues.
The Benefits of Pre-Martial Counseling
There are many benefits to pre-martial counseling, and I hope after you read this section you will feel more comfortable with reaching out for services! The core of pre-martial counselling is to establish a firm, strong foundation before you enter your marriage. This opportunity will give you a chance to address any questions or concerns you may have in a healthy, safe manner.
Counselling is to process, explore, and learn new ways to address our mental health and relationships. In pre-martial counselling you will learn skills that can help you in the present and future. For example, conflict resolution skills, communication skills, and decision making skills. You can discuss with your partner with the help of the counsellor areas where you may struggle in, and create a plan for success for any future problems.
Another topic typically discussed in pre-martial counselling is the expectations for the marriage. Where are you going to live, how many children will you have, certain household roles, will you both work, how to spend holidays, budgets/priorities, etc. If you have gotten to the point of engagement, I think most couples discuss these topics already, but again certain topics become more relevant when preparing for a marriage.
My fiancé and I were given two books and a small “workbook” to complete during the time of our pre-martial counseling. We discussed parts of the book in our sessions, and I found them very helpful! We learned new ways to be a better spouse and have a strong, loving marriage.
The Downside to Pre-Martial Counselling
My first response would be there are no cons to participating in pre-martial counselling, but I can think of a few that may affect others. The cost of the counselling. If you choose to seek counselling outside of a church, it could possibly cost you. Most insurance companies cover counselling, and I would check with your insurance carrier if this is a worry for you.
Another downside to pre-martial counseling is devoting the time for the counseling. We completed six sessions in total, and they were not all consecutive. It depends on your counselor how many sessions would be sufficient, and counseling usually takes up an hour. You will need to dedicate a small piece of your time to complete counseling.
The final possible downside to pre-martial counselling is your counsellor. Fun fact about me is…I am a Counsellor! But my population is children and adolescents. Being in the mental health field, I feel that I am able to give expert advice when it comes to mental health. The truth is not all counsellors are the same. If you feel uncomfortable or dissatisfied with your counselling experience, this could negatively affect your relationship. But always be honest with your counsellor and ask for a different counsellor!