Does it feel like everyone loves you but doesn’t love your partner of choice? Maybe it feels like everyone that you’ve supported in the past is suddenly turning on you and you don’t know what to do. You’re a grown adult and you deserve to have all of the support in the world, but before you go in on everyone that cares about you, consider taking a step back to consider both sides.
Give Both Sides the Benefit of the Doubt
Chances are, you are too close and too emotionally invested to really see the reasons for the concerns that your friends and family have. If the people that are spouting negative views of your SO are folks that you’d typically hold in high esteem and whose opinions you really value, you need to give them a chance to explain themselves fully. It’s great to be loyal to the one you love, but its important to also have enough respect for the ones who have always had your back to at least hear them out. It’s really likely that your friends and family love you and have your best interest at heart.
That being said, if you feel like those close to you are being unfair to your man, then definitely take the time to hear both sides of the story. It’s important that the accused party has an opportunity to defend themselves. I’m a big believer in open communication, and having a gentle and non-confrontational discussion is key here, since you’re caught in the middle without a proper sit down.
Follow your Gut
I wish more people followed their intuition. That little niggling, annoying voice that is constantly trying to reason with you during the best and worst moments is usually right. If your intuition is saying that your partner is innocent, trust that feeling but keep it respectful with your family and friends. You’re a grownup and you are entitled to your own life and decisions. Your friends and family shouldn’t base their positive relationship with you on you following their directives. There will always be times when you disagree, and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, or are being hurt by your partner, you’re entitled to make your own decisions without judgement. If they can’t understand that, perhaps you need to evaluate your circle and take a step back for a while.
If your intuition is saying that your man may be up to some shady stuff, definitely dig deeper. Nothing kept in the darkness ever stays there, and with some investigation and help from those closest to you and you’ll find out the truth.
Depends on the Situation
Yeah, this answer kind of sucks, but there are so many factors to consider for why it may seem like everyone doesn’t like your partner. Does your sweetie struggle in social situations? Maybe it takes a while for them to warm up to others, and that can rub friends the wrong way. It could also be that your bf/gf has had a poor track record with past relationships, and rumours can get ugly. Sometimes people hear half the story, and assume the worst, especially in cases of accused abuse. We always recommend listening to your circle if they are suspecting abuse because getting caught up in that cycle is vicious and you need an entire village to get out and overcome. If you yourself have been a victim of repeated heartbreak or abuse, your friends and family will be overprotective and definitely mean well. If this relationship got super serious very quickly, chances are your tribe is just looking out for you and maybe haven’t expressed their concerns in the best way.
Feeling like it’s just you and your love against the whole world isn’t a great feeling. No matter how ride or die you are, everyone needs a social circle outside of their boyfriend/girlfriend. We recommend resolving this with your friends and family and your significant other with a lot of communication, an open mind, and occasionally, taking a time out from each other to re-evaluate. Just remember, you’re an adult and you are entitled to making your own decisions, just don’t burn any bridges while you’re doing it – always remember to be kind to those that love you, even when you disagree.
Alisha Chadee is the boss lady of Whim Event Planning & Design, specializing in modern, romantic celebrations. She enjoys long walks to the fridge, inhaling calamari and hanging with her ridiculously cute son. This wedding planner and subject matter expert in the wedding industry will be contributing to www.theweddingpic.com in our Advice page every Wednesday. Follow @theweddingpic on Instagram to get the updates!