As soon as you get engaged and talks of the wedding plans start stirring up – you will notice a lot of family and friends (close or not close) will begin sharing their opinions. There is something about wedding planning that just attracts unsolicited advice but there are ways to manage it – ignore them.
With that said, when the unsolicited advice comes from your own mother or your future mother-in-law, you have to navigate this without creating a bigger problem! So how do you approach your mom or your mom-in-law to be when you just don’t need their advice and opinion on every little thing? Here are 3 ways to deal with super involved mothers and mother-in-law’s during the wedding planning journey:
Choose your battles wisely.
Although wedding planning can be stressful and hearing your mom or mother-in-law’s opinions all the time can be annoying – you need to choose your battles wisely. There are things you can possible ignore or let go of versus things you just have to approach. If you can ignore it, such as a ridiculous comment that has no consequences, just take the high road and move on.
Jeannie Assimos, Chief of Advice at eharmony, told BRIDES Magazine in an interview that it’s important to pick your battles. “Take a moment and figure out if your mother or MIL’s opinions are upsetting you because you are stressed or because they are truly limiting or hindering your big day,” says Assimos. “If it’s the latter, go ahead and talk to them openly about how you are feeling. If you are stressed because of other aspects of your wedding, take a step back and decide if talking to them will do anything more than hurt them.”Brides Magazine
Communicate kindly but firmly.
You may be tempted to snap at your mother or mother-in-law for constantly sharing her unwanted opinion but that may not be the best route. Communication is key and so is the way that you choose to communicate. Something that I always tell @theweddingpic brides is that you need to communicate in a thoughtful manner. Understand where the other side is coming from and let them know you know they have good intentions, but you want things done a certain way – after all, you are the bride.
Don’t burn bridges or create tension when strong communication can simply resolve an issue!
“Mom, I know that you really want me to choose _____ colours for the wedding flowers but (insert fiancees name) and I have a certain vision for our big day and have already decided on ______ colours.”
Give her a particular wedding planning responsibility.
This is a great suggestion that we always give brides – keep your mother or mother-in-law busy with a task so that she is not meddling here and there on everything. If you assign her to find you stationary vendors, for example, then she will be occupied trying to do that right and won’t be free to involve herself in everything else.
Giving her a task and let her run with it and you will have a chance to think clearly without all of that un wanted advice! 🙂