How to Deal With Pressure to Invite Certain Guests

Hey Babes! So you have begun making your guest list for your wedding or sending out Save the Dates or planning your bridal showers….and you are starting to feel pressure to add certain people to your guest list. Been there! I’ve had others invite people to my wedding…without my permission… or people assume they are invited to my wedding.  This situation is inevitable for every bride because people may chime in their opinion on who should be invited to your big day. At the end of the day, it is up to YOU and your significant other who is invited to your wedding! We are here to help you decide and address any pressure you may be having to invite people to your wedding.

Set Your Guest List Number

Even if you have a big budget for your wedding, you still need to set a guest list number for the big day. You need to set this number before securing a venue, and your guest list affects every part of your wedding (seating, food, party favors, etc). Once you set this guest list number, it is a way of directing people if they suggest to invite someone. I’ve told several people “We are only inviting close friends/family due to our budget and venue capacity.” Most people are understanding of this reason!

It’s Okay to Say No

As a person who loves to please others, it can be hard to tell people no when it comes to your wedding. I would never want to hurt a person’s feelings, but the reality is you cannot invite everyone you know to your wedding. Again even if you have a bigger budget for your wedding, it’s just unrealistic to invite EVERYONE.  And in my opinion, not everyone deserves to attend your wedding. Your guest list should take some thought and consideration, and for my fiancé and I, we agreed to invite people who support, love and cherish our relationship. I want my day to remembered as a celebration with all of our loved ones and people who will put in the effort to celebrate as well.  We all know those people who just come for a free meal then leave….

Some potential guests need more thought than others, so if you need time to think about your decision then do so! But remember it is okay to say NO. Every guest will cost money, and you deserve to have people who appreciate your marriage to attend your wedding.

Be Polite but Assertive

When saying “no” to adding a guest to your wedding list, you can do so in an assertive and polite way. Assertiveness means confidently voicing your opinion in a respectful manner. If you allow a few guests to slip in, then others may feel they can do the same. Use your communication skills to explain to the person the reason you will not be inviting them/their desired guest. You should not feel obligated to invite someone.

It’s Okay to Give an Honest Reason

This might be the hardest part of addressing the pressure of your guest list. Whether you have to tell a co-worker if you invite them you feel the need to invite the entire office or telling a person they are not invited due to their relationship with someone at the wedding is just the honest truth. Tread lightly on this step because you don’t want to seem rude or standoffish. My fiancé was put in a similar position because he knew if he invited one of his friends from high school he would need to invite several others in order to be fair. If the reason doesn’t cause more conflict, you can address it with the person. Again, use open and clear communication and be polite.

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