Hi Babes! Real life Bride, Britt Bledsoe, here to help with a tough wedding situation that happens more often than not!
One thing a bride is not usually prepared for it, drama between her bridesmaids. It can be inevitable at times though because of the stress and hustle that comes along with a wedding. That said, if you’re having some bridesmaids’ drama whether you’re the bride or fellow bridesmaid this blog can help you decide how to address this delicate situation best! You want to make sure everyone enjoys the experience, be it the bride or the bridesmaid. Let’s do this!
Set a Positive Vibe!
Prevention is better than Intervention. As a licensed counselor, I teach my clients you don’t wait until you have a cavity to brush your teeth right? So don’t let a storm start brewing before you address this issue. It’s best to delegate who is your MOH, and set expectations and roles for the MOH and other bridesmaids. Some people who have never been a part of a wedding party may have no idea the expectations that come along with it so it’s best to be very clear! Create a group text/email/chat to begin open communication with your bride tribe, and set the tone of positivity and respect!
Nip Any Drama in the Bud
As soon as you get wind of one girl being non-responsive, bossy, or passive aggressive with your other special ladies, this is when as a bride or bridesmaid you can step in to handle the situation before it worsens. Bring water to the fire not gasoline!
You can start with open communication and an open heart. People can be oblivious to their behaviors, and you simply and graciously pointing out these behaviors to the person can be the quick fix. It’s best to never assume but rather check in and ask questions. A simple text or email to the person can be the solution or setting a time/day to sit down and discuss the issue even further.
Attacking the person with insults, sarcasm or assumptions can be VERY hurtful and cause even more drama so send a quick message to the person to check in!
Choose Your Battles
Don’t create more stress over a power struggle. If at the end of the day, the decision or behavior doesn’t affect the bride, her happiness, or the wedding/wedding festivities, then do not create an issue where it can be avoided. If Rachel says she wants a cake at her engagement party, then don’t argue with Michelle about the cake flavor. It’s not worth it. Your main concern is having a smooth, stress free bride and wedding experience. People will create a problem when it can be easily avoided. I’ve been in weddings before where some bridesmaids were on a different page when it came to tiny details, and frankly, it’s not worth your time to stress over or create drama for so help where needed and keep the bride as your focus!
Have a Heart to Heart
Some bridesmaids rather not involve the bride because they don’t want to cause any extra stress, but sometimes involving the bride can be beneficial. If the bride and bridesmaids seem to be on a different page about bigger issues, it is best to have these conversations face to face or FaceTime/phone call. Again, speak with kindness and gentleness because negativity will only make the situation worse. The bride might be able to help in this area since she knows all of the bridesmaids. Speak directly on the behaviors that are being interpreted as negative or unhelpful, and be clear again on expectations if needed.
The Last Resort
Unfortunately, there are situations that cause extreme stress and anxiety for a bride. If a bridesmaid is not working to help make this time for the bride fun and memorable, then it’s best they no longer be a part of the wedding party. I labeled this as “The Last Resort” for a reason. It should be the very last thing a bride and bridesmaid come to when every attempt has been made to fix the problem. Losing a friendship is not easy, and especially during this time of a bride’s life, needs to be delicately handled. If a bridesmaid is unable to fulfill her duties, she must understand stepping out of the wedding is a possibility.
Things to Remember
As bridesmaids, you are the bride’s team, so brainstorm together!
Remember why you are a bridesmaid and why you accepted this role!
Open Communication = Honesty, Clarity, and Humility
Don’t involve the Bride unless necessary!
Don’t lose a friendship over something simple!
Britt is a contributing writer and real bride who is planning her very own perfect wedding in Georgia, USA. She joins us at theweddingpic.com to share her personal planning experience and regularly creates stylish content for @theweddingpic on Instagram.