Every woman who has never been in love with a married man says the same thing, “how can someone do that to another woman”, that you would never be a home wrecker or some disloyal mans mistress. Although some women stand firm to this rule, many more women fall victim to the trap of a married man and his words, his compliments, his undying desire for you, and his attention. And now you are here thinking, you never thought you would ever be the “other woman” and yet, somehow you are.
It didn’t start as an affair, it likely started as a friendship, some sort of innocent relationship with a tension between you two. It’s a connection that you try to cover up as friendship, but with a few text messages and DMs later, becomes something more. You flirt, you play with the idea of being able to be intimate with each other until one of you crosses the boundary, says it, and suddenly – he’s cheating on his wife and it’s for you.
It all sounds so simple and clear – but it’s not. Just because a married man is showing you signs that he likes you, wants you badly, or even loves you, this doesn’t mean he is going to drop everything and leave for you. More often than not, affairs end in heartbreak, tragedy, guilt, and depression for one or both parties. Below we have summarized 5 key things to consider before you let the sexual tension between you and a married man, turn into a short lived affair that will leave long term impacts.
People who stray in their relationships are usually refusing to confront something in their relationship and it will not be resolved by having an affair. You become a temporary solution to a real problem they have and this will be realized at one point or the other.
Men who leave their wives for their mistresses usually end up cheating on their mistress, too.
This one should not come as a surprise, it’s simply pattern of behaviour. If he cheated on her, he is likely to cheat on you too. Most men cheat for the thrill and excitement of having another woman so if you are to become the main woman one day, he might just get bored and find a new thrill. If you consider his wife and how this makes her feel, it will help you realize that he likely does not care about how he treats his loved ones and this is a part of who he is.
You will have plenty of moments of feeling worthless or second best.
You are his secret and although this can seem like the sexiest thing ever when you are being intimate together, it is not so sexy when he is publicly praising his wife on social media, cancelling plans last minute with you for her, or texting / responding to calls from her while with you to avoid making her suspicious. He is married, and the reality is that you are not going to be a priority to him especially not before his wife. This will slowly creep on you and you will begin feeling worthless at times because of it.
Your self worth and confidence will receive a huge blow because of the affair.
Echoing the previous point – you are putting your confidence and self worth at risk by accepting that you are not deserving of someones full and whole hearted love and attention. Instead you are accepting being second best, accepting being someones hidden relationship, and someone he will not drop everything and leave for.
Almost all affairs come to an end.
People who marry out of an illicit relationship are twice as likely to divorce than a couple who didn’t start out as an affair. The affair will feed your low self worth – the ones that tell you that you don’t deserve real, undivided love and attention. The thoughts that say you’re secretly a terrible person and therefore deserve to be nothing more than the other woman. Your affair can either wake you up to realize your self worth and leave or stay and continue to make you feel worthless.
I can only hope that this post stops you from getting into that affair or in too deep with the married man you might be currently flirting with the idea of cheating with. If you aren’t already in it, leave, and if you are already in it, leave. If the relationship between you two was real and worth having, he would have left his wife before joining an illicit relationship with you. It is the idea of the illicit, secret, and sexual relationship that they want and very unlikely that they are looking to leave their wives, children, and current public persona for the other woman. This has nothing to do with your self worth – you are deserving of real, honest, and whole hearted love. We just hope you see that.