3 Ways to Deal With an Unhelpful Maid of Honour or Bridesmaid

Image by Matthew Lim Photography

Choosing your bridal party is a very important decision. It can make or break your wedding planning experience depending on who you have chosen to have by your side. Here at The Wedding Pic, we have brides asking us on a daily basis, what they can do about their unhelpful maid of honour or bridesmaid. We are here to give you a solution to solving those bridal party issues. If your MOH or bridesmaid is not stepping up to the plate or taking on their responsibilities, here are the 4 things you can do.

  1. Choose your battles wisely
    Wedding planning is stressful and sometimes you might be just getting upset at minor issues. We once had a bride ask us what she should do about her bridesmaid who cannot take the day off work for the Rehearsal dinner. Now as much as I know this bride wanted her friend by her side – work is important too and we don’t want the bridesmaid risking her job for her friends wedding.

    There are somethings that you can let go of so always assess the issue and see if it really is a major bridesmaid or MOH concern or something not worth creating a problem over.
  2. Offer to help
    If you feel like your bridesmaid or maid of honour is not stepping up to the plate then try to see if they just need some guidance. They may not have bridal party experience or are in need of you to step in and show the way.
  3. Bring in back up
    When someone is under performing in a task it might mean they need more help. If you can’t help because of course, you are busy wedding planning then ask another bridesmaid or your MOH to jump in and assist them. Some people work better in teams!
  4. Be clear and have a talk
    If you realize that there is a real issue with the bridesmaid or MOH who is not living up to the role – then it is time to have a talk. Make it clear to them that you need them to step up as that is why they are in the role. Don’t make it confrontational – make it constructive where you two can figure out how to help her do better.

Many friendships have fallen apart during the wedding planning process and to avoid this from happening, you have got to look at the issues from all perspectives. Hopefully this helps you assess the situation and make decisions that are productive and not destructive. The goal is to bring everyone together for a good time!

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